When in conflict people can tend to make things up that are
not true. People can make up things about other people just to make their side
of the story seem stronger. Yet false attributions can cause the conflict to
worsen. I have been in a conflict and attempted to defend a certain person. In
my act of defending I created false attributions about my friend to make him
seem like he was in the right. I made these attributions on accident and realized
it was the wrong thing to do. The other person involved knew that what I was
saying was false and that made him even more mad and honestly gave him the
upper hand. My friend lost credibility and settling the conflict was no longer
going to be settled in my friends favor because of what I had said. Accurate
attributions always help because they are main points to strengthen your
argument.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, isn’t it? You can go in with the best of intentions, defending a friend and really believing they are right, but somehow, before you know it, things have gotten out of hand. You find yourself saying things you wouldn’t have imagined saying and that maybe even stretch the truth. I see myself as a very honest and direct person, who doesn’t want to fool anyone, but I have done the same thing sometimes. It makes you reflect on your self image as an honest person too.
ReplyDeleteIt’s easy to find yourself suddenly on the wrong side of the argument as you experienced. We lose our credibility all together when we’re caught in a lie. If gives the other person complete leverage in the argument. Even if you catch it immediately, apologize, and retract your comment, the person can exploit their new position by refusing to accept the explanation and move on. Disagreements really can bring out our most self-interested nature.